You Are a Living Magnet

I was thinking today about kindness, as a concept and as a practice. I will

often tell clients who are feeling disconnected from kindness and love in their lives to try giving love and kindness to others. Open a door for someone; make eye

contact; and smile. It does wonders for both of you. So what do you need in your

life? And how can you turn yourself into a magnet for what you need?

The saying, “you have to give respect to get respect” has always sounded very

tit-for-tat to me. It’s more “I will give you respect on the condition that you give me respect and if you ever don’t give me respect, I will unleash my inner bitch.”

People lose it sometimes…they are like human beings like that. If someone is losing it, they are unlikely to give you respect. What happens if you respond in kind? Suddenly you’re in a hand basket headed to hell. I recommend (and try to practice) continuing giving respect not because that is what you are getting but because that’s what you deserve. As a side benefit, your continued respect can bring the tension down.

I had a client who was upset because she felt no one complimented her about

how she looked or what she did. I suggested she make a list of the people who lived in her orbit and to try every day to give each of them a sincere compliment—check each off at least once every day. When she checked in a week later, she had an interesting report: giving the compliments had given her so much pleasure that she had forgotten she originally wanted to receive the compliments!

Kindness, positivity, respect, love—you gotta practice it to bring it into your

life. I am not a fan of the overused, “fake it ‘til you make it” but I am willing to make an exception in this case. Give kindness when you don’t feel kind. Give respect when you don’t feel respected. Be positive when you don’t feel positive. That last one is most important and can change your whole day, your week, and your life. Walking around with a rainy cloud hanging over you really sucks and you don’t know how much it sucks until you strive to replace it with a sun.

You are a living magnet. Have the qualities you want to have in your

life—and you will find those qualities coming back to you in a wonderful uplifting

way.

For your consideration,

Ellen Larabee, MA, LPCC