Fire the Little High School Football Coach In Your Head!

High school football coaches have always puzzled me. They scream insults and obscenities at the emerging young men in their charge and I wonder how anyone can achieve anything under such conditions.

Then I miss my turn and tell myself, “I am an idiot who can never get anywhere without getting lost at least once!” Oh, no! I have a high school football coach living in my head!

From talking to others, I know I’m not alone.

Somehow we’ve come to believe being “tough” on ourselves is the only way to stay motivated but it is rarely true. Take a moment and imagine your very best friend, the one who loves you and believes in you no matter what. Imagine having the following conversation with this very best friend.

YOU: The alarm went off five minutes ago!

BFF: I’m tired.

YOU: You know why you’re tired? Cause you’re fat! Now get you fat butt out of

bed and workout like you swore you would!

BFF: Tomorrow! I’ll do it tomorrow!

YOU: Who are kidding?! You are a fat, worthless pig and that’s all you’ll ever be!

That might have stung a bit as you pictured your best friend’s face crumble at your words. You know so many more effective ways to motivate this friend. Focus on how good you’ll feel after a workout. Focus on the benefits of physical fitness. Focus on a payoff, like running that marathon next spring! Now that has a fighting chance of getting your friend up and working out!

When’s the last time you spoke to yourself like the exchange above? Doesn’t

sting nearly as much does it? Maybe not at all. Maybe it felt so familiar and right now that the little high school football coach in your head is telling you to “f$c*i#g stop reading this and drop your butt to the floor and give him twenty, worthless, fat piece of….” STOP! Fire that high school football coach! He’s had too many losing seasons!

Talk to yourself with kindness and compassion. Encourage yourself by naming your best points. Tell yourself you a worthy of achieving your goals. Welcome to the seasons of love.

P.S. I just ended a prolonged football metaphor with a reference to a Tony award

winning musical. Cross that off my bucket list!

For your consideration,

Ellen Larabee, MA, LPCC